Tough Questions

Tiba-tiba rasa nak menaip pula petang-petang nih. Nak sambung cerita last entry but then I don't have any mood to talk about that right now. How it continues ? Nanti-nanti lah I update lain. Hahaha.  Let me tell you another story yang berkait juga dengan entry sebelum.

I love to socialize, meet people, talk to them but then since I have 'failed' in my program, I became awkward to go outside. Why ? I am afraid if  I meet people, especially my relatives, the aunties, the uncles will definitely ask me this one question.

" Belajar kat mana sekarang ? "

Damn. I actually don't know how to answer this question. Haha. And if they know I was making a preparation to study oversea, they will ask,

" Bila nak fly ? "

That two questions actually were the hardest questions to be answered by me. Entahlah. I don't even know why but I think, I had made a big failure which then make my parents feel ashamed, Faham tak ? Yeah, I realized, that was also my fault. My fault because I don't study hard ? Sorry mak, ayah. :(

One of my friend, which has the same fate as me, (budak rayuan gak) threw this question through our whatsapp group.

" Jahat sangat ke kita? "

Well, sometimes I do feel like that. Jahat sangat ke kami sampai pihak M*** rejected our appeals ? Bukan nak bandingkan this cohort dengan cohort yang lepas, but then it seems unfair. UNFAIR. Why the appeals of the other two cohorts being accepted but NOT ours ? One of our advisers, nama dirahsiakan  told us that we shouldn't compare our cohort with the last cohorts because we are not the same. Now my question is, which part is not the same ? Our duration of program ? They only had a 6 months preparation but we had a 10 months preparation ? Hahaha. 9 months actually. We had a big number of students, 200 students but they only had 60 students, so M*** doesn't have enough budget to send us oversea ? Are that the things that make us different ?

Okay lah, lets make these things clear. They did a 6 months preparation and took the exams after that 6 months, so did us. We took our exams after 6 months of studying and the other 3 months we used them to play 'happily' at the college. It was just the same like we were preparing for only 6 months. Kan ? And about the big number of students. Mustahillah bajet tak cukup . Of course before they accepted us they will have enough budget. I mean, they already had a specific budget for 200 of us. Takkan tak cukup ? Or should I blame the government for this ? HAHAHAHA.

Yeah, even though we had finished our program, we can still repeat the exam till we pass. Many of us repeated it but then rezeki is not on our side. Ada jugak yang repeat sampai 5 kali, tapi kalau sudah ditakdirkan kita tak lepas, apa boleh buat kan ? Nak repeat lagi ? Boleh. But then you will need a lot of money. Kalau orang senang , aku tak heran ahh. But for those yang biasa-biasa ni ? Sekali repeat USD 187 (lupa ahh berapa tapi lebih kurang laa) and if it is converted to Ringgit Malaysia with the currency nowadays, it can reach to RM700 ++.

Aku tak nak lah salahkan siapa-siapa dalam hal ni. Salah kami juga. Kalau diambil dari sudut positif, mungkin Allah nak tunjuk yang US tuh bukan yang terbaik untuk kami dan Dia dah sediakan tempat yang baik untuk kami locally. It takes time actually untuk redha dengan semua nih tapi InsyaaAllah there will be something better waiting for us in the future, the one who has patience.