Adios 2015


Wow ! In a blink of an eye , this 2015 will close its pages in another 3 days . So much to tell about this year . Tears , laughter , disappointment , failure . They were all in my 2015's pages . This 2015 really taught me a lot . It really grows me into a better yet a much tougher person . Do resist with all the obstacles , try much harder and lots more . Hahaha . in advance, thank you 2015 .

So basically , I spent most of my 2015 here , in this college . Where ? Guess where ? Hahaha. Don't want to tell you . I don't even know why but I really don't want to remember anything from this place . Why ? It hurts me so badly . Ever since I lived all this eighteen years , I thought that this place is such a terrible place and I shouldn't be here in the first place , Sorry to say , but I don't even know why I really don't like it here .

HOWEVER

However , this place actually had gave me a really precious yet valuable lesson that I never get as I live for this eighteen years . You know what , I never feel such this failure until I was here . True , every cloud has its silver lining . All this while I always being on the top , I mean not that top but okay lah . Hahaha . Here , I learnt that you are not always on the top . To be honest , it really sucks to be on the bottom list , where all people looked down at you . Well , not looking down but lack of confident on you (?) Sorry , I don't know how to describe this . Hahaha . Since that , I put this one spirit inside me , I had had enough . It was enough for me to be once in the bottom . I should try harder and better next time so this thing will never ever ever be happen again .

Well , if you feel sad , you surely want to shout it aloud to someone kan ? Since in that college , I don't have my parents around , friends will take over that responsibility . One thing that makes me stand there for the entire nine months is my friends . I am very glad , very much glad to have such great friends around . They are my source of confidence , my supporting poles and also my shoulders to lean on . Even though we took shorter time to know each other , we had been such a great family . We laughed together , we cried together , we even did bad things together . Hahahaha . How I miss them damn much .

There are lots more to be told but then I think this was enough (kot) to summarize my 2015 . In a nutshell (skemanyaaaaa) , this 2015 is freaking disaster to me but with the presence of many lovely persons , it becomes such a great year as they give colors to my 2015's pages .

Favorite picture of 2015 

Last but not least , click HERE to know more about my persons of 2015




(((((( Positive Vibes )))))))))


Nampak tak tajuk ada (((( )))) ? Actually tu nak buat acah-acah wave, nak bagi positive wave kat korang. Sweet kan I ? Hahahaha. I watched National Geography just now, a documentary about how by being positive we can change our life into a better one. How by being positive we can have a better day and we can improve ourselves. They also had proved it through a social experiment and it make me feel,

" Wow ! How by thinking positively it can change my entire day . I have to be positive everyday !"

Over kan ? But that is real. Let me tell you about the social experiment. So they did a social experiment in Los Angeles, which is a popular place to gamble. They called out a few couple of tourists to do the experiment and each of them will be given 50 bucks after they had done it. So each of the couple was given a task.


EXPERIMENT 1 : Body Posture/Expression

One person had to do a sad face while the other one had to make a happy face.

Person 1 :

Image result for sad people

Person 2 :

Image result for HAPPY people

After that each of them were given 50 bucks and they had to decide whether they wanted to just keep the money or to double up the money by gambling. Guess what ? 99% of person one tend to just keep the money but almost all of person two want to double it as they had the confident to gamble and yes, they made the money double !

Let's make this thing clear. Here we can see that person one, who had to do a sad face tend to just keep the money as they don't have the confident in themselves while person two, who had to act happily can take the risk of gambling as they were very confident to do that. Our body posture actually can affect our day. Be happy friends. There a lot of joy waiting for us everyday.
Be POSITIVE !

Image result for HAPPY people

By spreading our arms like a winner also can send positive vibes to ourselves.

Positive tips : 
Wake up everyday by spreading your arms while smiling and say to yourself that today is going to be another great day !

Let's go to next social experiment.

EXPERIMENT 2 : Surrounding Support

In this experiment, a few volunteers had been called to try basketball. They were given 10 shoots each without no one around. There were people who were very good in basketball but they were also who did not. So they took a volunteer, who did not able to make any shoots and also the best shooter.

Image result for basketball shooter

Person 1 : 0 shoot
Person 2 : 9 shoots

After that they had to close their eyes by black cloth and they had to shoot again twice. There were also audiences to send vibes to them.

Person 1 :
People kept cheering even though she did not shoot any .

Person 2 :
People kept booing him .

Next they had to do another 10 shoots with open eyes, like the first time.

Person 1 : 4 shoots
Person 2 : 5 shoots

Well you can see right ? How the surrounding can affect us ?
Person one who at first could not make any shoots was able to shoots 4 times after she got the positive vibes from the audiences as people kept cheering for her even though when her eyes were closed, she did not able to shoot any.While person two who was the best shooter was only able to shoot 5 times as they audiences kept booing him. They actually had gave a negative vibes to him, that's why he was not able to do his best

Based on this experiment, it showed how surrounding can affect our day. That's why we have to really choose our friends. We have to choose friends which can cheer us out even though we have a big problems so that we can go through our day with full of enthusiasm at the same time we can face the problems bravely and together looking for the solutions.

In conclusion , let's

Image result for stay positive



p/s : First time buat entry almost tak rojak dan serius serta bermanfaat (kot) Hehehe.


Cause They LOVE Me


Memandangkan malam ni malam Jumaat, maka eloklah kiranya saya berkongsi sedikit perihal keagamaan. Semoga kita sama-sama mendapat iktibar serta manfaat daripada post yang bakal saya taip ini . *cakap persis dai'e*

So this morning I got shocked when my seven year-old brother advice me about "aurat". Secara jujurnya , aku malu sebab adik aku yang baru darjah satu tegur aku tentang agama. But if we look from the other side, I actually quite proud with him because he knows what is good and what is not. At least I know that my parents have gave him the right lesson. Eheh.

I have this bad habit (?) since I was in form 1, no since the primary school actually but then , who cares kan ?  Waktu tuh aku masih kanak-kanak, baligh pun tak lagi. maka aku tidak mementingkan perihal pakaian, I mean, kurang mementingkan perihal ini. Nak keluar pakai apa suka hati lah, as long as it is not too obvious or not too much. Haaa. But since I have growing older I realize that I have to take seriously on this but there is one thing, yeahh one thing that I can't avoid to do it. What ?
Haaaa, curious kan ?

Image result for guy folding sleeves

Hey, no ! Don't look at that handsome guy. But wait ! Omaigod, I must admit that this guy, who I randomly picked from Google is sooooo handsome. Eheh. Dear future husband, please be like him, that hair. Awwwww. *acah melting* 

Okay,okay. Let's back to our topic. *sambil beristighfar* . Yeah, that's it. What ? Tak dapat lagi ? Asal lambat sangat nih ? Eheh. That guy's shirt's sleeves is folded. Once again I must admit that a guy with that fashion is so adorable. *another tips for my future husband* It might seem normal for guys to fold their shirt's sleeves like that but not for a woman or specifically a Muslim woman. 

Aku sangat suka untuk tarik lengan baju secara sedar mahupun tidak sedar . Well, for a Muslim woman it is a must for us to cover ourselves except for the face and also our palms. Obviously it is wrong for us if we show other than that. Tapi, yelaa kadang-kadang panas kan, jadi secara tak sengaja aku akan tarik lengan baju sampai atas. Kay, tak atas sangat, tapi sikit lah. Haha.

So that morning, I went to an expo at MITC, *you guys should come here, there are lots of free food* while my family and I were walking around, looking at the booths , secara tak sengaja, aku tarik lengan baju. Guess what ? Adik aku, Azhar tarik balik lengan baju aku tutup tangan sambil kata,

" Tutup ni, nampak aurat "

Aku terkesima dan sepanjang perjalanan dalam tuh, aku pastikan aku tak sinsing lengan. Wow, what a great impact kan ? Hahahaha. Aku teringat zaman sekolah aku dulu. Dulu, waktu kat sekolah , aku memang suka sinsing lengan nih. Boleh dikatakan, ramai juga lah yang tegur perangai aku ni. Mula-mula rasa macam, ehhh, suka hati lah. Diri aku. Sibuk je. But then, I realized they love me actually, tu yang selalu tegur.

Cikgu homeroom merangkap cikgu Bahasa Melayu zaman menengah rendah aku merupakan seorang yang sangat warak. Beragama dan sangat anti perempuan. Sebagai pencerahan, dia bukan anti perempuan tetapi tidak suka perempuan yang berpakaian tidak sopan. Nampak kesalahan pada seorang perempuan, kesemua perempuan dikutuknya. * terus baku bahasa* Aku tak bermaksud nak kutuk cikgu aku, but then this is the truth. *maaf cikgu* . Nak dijadikan cerita, satu hari homeroom aku ada perjumpaan. Sedang kami berbual, berbincang mengenai hal-hal semasa, aku tertarik lengan baju kurung aku. Dengan tidak semena-mena cikgu terus cakap,

" Haaa, awak. Cantik sangat ke bulu-bulu kat lengan awak tu ? "

Aku yang tak tahu apa-apa, terpaku. Cikgu tegur aku ke ?

" Lain kali pakai hand socks "

Aku hanya mengangguk and since that day, if there is Bahasa class on that day, we, the girls will wear hand socks . Nampak hipokrit kan ? But then we change gradually. from wearing it only when there is a Bahasa class to wear it everyday. What a great improvement kan ?

Just to make this thing clear, people advise us because they care, they love. My little brother's action showed that he loves me, so do my teacher's words. Teguran Allah comes in every ways. What we should do is to open our heart dan jangan mudah melenting apabila ditegur. Teguran itu menjadikan kita lebih baik pada masa hadapan. Eh, dah boleh ambil borang dai'e nih. HAHAHAHA.



Tough Questions


Tiba-tiba rasa nak menaip pula petang-petang nih. Nak sambung cerita last entry but then I don't have any mood to talk about that right now. How it continues ? Nanti-nanti lah I update lain. Hahaha.  Let me tell you another story yang berkait juga dengan entry sebelum.

I love to socialize, meet people, talk to them but then since I have 'failed' in my program, I became awkward to go outside. Why ? I am afraid if  I meet people, especially my relatives, the aunties, the uncles will definitely ask me this one question.

" Belajar kat mana sekarang ? "

Damn. I actually don't know how to answer this question. Haha. And if they know I was making a preparation to study oversea, they will ask,

" Bila nak fly ? "

That two questions actually were the hardest questions to be answered by me. Entahlah. I don't even know why but I think, I had made a big failure which then make my parents feel ashamed, Faham tak ? Yeah, I realized, that was also my fault. My fault because I don't study hard ? Sorry mak, ayah. :(

One of my friend, which has the same fate as me, (budak rayuan gak) threw this question through our whatsapp group.

" Jahat sangat ke kita? "

Well, sometimes I do feel like that. Jahat sangat ke kami sampai pihak M*** rejected our appeals ? Bukan nak bandingkan this cohort dengan cohort yang lepas, but then it seems unfair. UNFAIR. Why the appeals of the other two cohorts being accepted but NOT ours ? One of our advisers, nama dirahsiakan  told us that we shouldn't compare our cohort with the last cohorts because we are not the same. Now my question is, which part is not the same ? Our duration of program ? They only had a 6 months preparation but we had a 10 months preparation ? Hahaha. 9 months actually. We had a big number of students, 200 students but they only had 60 students, so M*** doesn't have enough budget to send us oversea ? Are that the things that make us different ?

Okay lah, lets make these things clear. They did a 6 months preparation and took the exams after that 6 months, so did us. We took our exams after 6 months of studying and the other 3 months we used them to play 'happily' at the college. It was just the same like we were preparing for only 6 months. Kan ? And about the big number of students. Mustahillah bajet tak cukup . Of course before they accepted us they will have enough budget. I mean, they already had a specific budget for 200 of us. Takkan tak cukup ? Or should I blame the government for this ? HAHAHAHA.

Yeah, even though we had finished our program, we can still repeat the exam till we pass. Many of us repeated it but then rezeki is not on our side. Ada jugak yang repeat sampai 5 kali, tapi kalau sudah ditakdirkan kita tak lepas, apa boleh buat kan ? Nak repeat lagi ? Boleh. But then you will need a lot of money. Kalau orang senang , aku tak heran ahh. But for those yang biasa-biasa ni ? Sekali repeat USD 187 (lupa ahh berapa tapi lebih kurang laa) and if it is converted to Ringgit Malaysia with the currency nowadays, it can reach to RM700 ++.

Aku tak nak lah salahkan siapa-siapa dalam hal ni. Salah kami juga. Kalau diambil dari sudut positif, mungkin Allah nak tunjuk yang US tuh bukan yang terbaik untuk kami dan Dia dah sediakan tempat yang baik untuk kami locally. It takes time actually untuk redha dengan semua nih tapi InsyaaAllah there will be something better waiting for us in the future, the one who has patience.


More FALSE Hope


After a while I keep this feeling inside me. Sakit hati, marah, kecewa. Tak tahu nak tujukan semua rasa ni kat siapa. Sakitnya penantian tuh, hanya Tuhan yang tahu .
Eighty-nine, just one mark to pass the requirement but then it can't be reconsidered. Okay . Aku redha. Hahahaha. Apa semua ni ? Tiba-tiba je lapan puluh sembilan. Requirement apa pulak ?
Kita-kita je faham. Yang tak faham tuh, boleh pm, tanya. HAHAHA acah ada orang baca

Moh laaa aku cerita sedikit liku-liku yang dihadapi oleh kami, para perayu yang tidak dibela. Sebelum tu, aku minta maaf dulu andai apa yang bakal aku tulis ini akan mengecilkan hati sesiapa, menyakitkan hati, mengguris, melukakan atau apa-apa yang sewaktu dengannya.  *aku anggap ada orang baca walaupun pada hakikatnya tidak* Maaf beribu berjuta maaf. Sesungguhnya saya ini hanyalah insan yang mahu meluahkan rasa yang terbuku, terpendam sejak beberapa bulan lamanya. Hehehehe.

Aku mengaku, aku ni takde laa pandai English mana. First TOEFL aku dapat lapan puluh enam, then aku repeat for the second time dan aku dapat lapan puluh sembilan. Wow, improve kan ? But still I don't fulfill the requirement needed to further my study overseas.

I asked one of my lecturer from the program,
"Should I repeat it again?" 
She replied, 
" No need, you don't have much time. We will work on your rayuan "

At that time, I felt relief as they will do something for us, the unfortunate less fortunate person. Many weeks passed , but then a few weeks before the program ended, the lecturer told us that we have to work on our rayuan by ourselves. Faham tak ? At first kata nak tolong , but then asked us to do it ourselves. Just don't know how to explain this situation tapi . Haihhh. Bukan lah nak kata kami ni bergantung sepenuhnya kepada lecturers, tak boleh nak independent but we don't know how to do the rayuan, the process, dengan nak kejar tamat program lagi. Semak tahu tak ? Serabut.  

But it's okay. Dengan berbekalkan semangat nak sambung belajar overseas, we (the less fortunate) worked together on our rayuan till the program ended. Even though the program had ended, we still put a high hope on our rayuan. Kat rumah dok berdoa siang malam supaya Allah bukakan pintu hati majlis tertinggi M*** supaya luluskan rayuan kami. 

One month passed, but then, there was still no news about our rayuan. They remained silent. 
Then what happen ? 

Tunggu laa the next entry. Ngantuk da. HAHAHA. Night ~

Mysterious Island ?


After a while staying at home finally I'm out, having a nice (?), extreme, mysterious trip to an island with my friends. It was a last minutes planning actually because at first we planned just to have a normal hang out, like a normal teenagers at the mall, watching movies, window shopping and stuffs. On the night before the tragedy, I suggested them to have a picnic at Pulau Besar. Well, as we are already at Melaka and we had a limited budgets, I thought having a picnic was a nice thing to be done. Haha.

To be honest my father actually did not allow me to go to that island because it is raining season nowadays. He thought that a trip there will be dangerous. Air laut nanti bergelora, nak drive dalam hujan lagi. Even though my father had warned me to not be there, well sometimes being a stubborn girl, takpekan ?



First time naik feri (?) sama-sama

To go to that island we had to take a ferry, well an island kan. Mana sampai kalau naik kereta. Hahaha. First impression naik feri tuh, wow, asal semua India je nih ? Tapi disebabkan dah sampai, da naik da pun feri tuh takkan nak patah balik kan ? Maka kami pun buat muka selamba sambil berselfie di atas feri tanpa menghiraukan keadaan sekeliling.




After 30 minutes on that ferry, lambat nak mamps feri tuh jalan we arrived at the jetty on that island. First thing that we saw once we touched down was a signboard saying 

LARANGAN MELAKUKAN AMALAN KHURAFAT

On that time, semua dah seram sejuk dah baca signboard tuh tapi cuba untuk berfikiran positif dan meneruskan perjalanan untuk mencari surau memandangkan dah lewat nak solat Zuhur. Jalan sejauh satu kilometer dengan bakul piknik yang berat, habis lencun basah ketiak. Hahaha. Sampai surau, sekali lagi bulu roma meremang. Sebelah surau, makam. Okay, normal lah kalau sebelah surau ada makam tapi berdasarkan apa yang salah seorang kawan aku cerita, makam tu merupakan makam pemujaan. Orang-orang datang makam tuh untuk puja, minta nombor ekor. Well, I am not really sure about that tapi memang menakutkan juga lah. Haha. Menambahkan kemusykilan apabila banyak India berlegar kat kawasan surau tuh . Cuba untuk berfikiran positf sekali lagi, mungkin mereka nak belajar mengenai Islam, saja melawat ke. Kan ? 

#gengloner 


So, we decided to have a picnic near that surau. Senang nanti nak solat, tandas pun dekat. Tak basah sangat sebab tengok air laut macam tak sedap jeh. Haha. Actually what really attracted us was the big stones sebab tempat tuh macam lawa je nak amek gambar. Maka, sesi bergambar pun dimulakan. Penuh memory phone



Batu menarik di persisiran pantai.


Dah puas bergambar, celup-celup kaki sikit, ambil feri pukul 530 petang untuk pulang ke daratan. Sesampainya di jeti, tengok feri dah separuh jalan pergi seberang padahal baru pukul 530. Nak taknak, kena tunggu feri seterusnya, which will come another one and a half hour later. Maka merempatlah kami di jeti sambil berbual-bual mengisi masa lapang. 

Nak dijadikan cerita, kereta boleh rosak bila nak balik. Sepertinya pulau itu tidak membenarkan kami untuk pulang. Hahaha. Seramkan ? Luckily there was a nice, good man trying to help us and the car's problem settled, Before heading back home, we stayed at a stall having our dinner, Semua buka cerita pasal pulau tuh. Seram sejuk dengar sampai serik nak pergi situ lagi. Balik rumah, tidur buka lampu, takut punya pasal, Hahahaha.

Mesti tertanya-tanya kan apa misteri di sebalik pulau tuh ? Haaa, apa lagi google sekarang. 

PULAU BESAR, MELAKA

Don't get shock when you found it. HAHAHAHA.
We learnt our valuable lesson on our trip there. What most important is do listen to your parents' advice and do google before you go to somewhere. Nanti jadi macam kitaorang. By the way, we still enjoyed the trip and we are excited to have another extreme trip next time. Really looking forward to it. Thanks semua :)




Job Hunting


Wow. Looks like I am enjoying my blog right now. This blog is totally mine. MINE. HAHAHAHAHA (evil laughter) Surely there will be no more assignments to be done such as the words list, movies review, novels review and blablabla. At the end, tak guna pun semua benda nih. Okay bukan takde guna, at least a little bit I can improve my English. *clishe nya * Nampak tak ? I did all the assignments because of the carry mark, at last, pointer pun takde. Maybe because of this, tak berkat kut semua yang aku dapat. To be honest, sometimes I just copied all the words  *okay not all*, then I put them in this blog and I never ever ever look at them again. What's the point haa?  It was like I am doing a non-worthy job for myself. Okay, I am the one who doesn't want to grab the chance to learn a lot of new vocabs. Okay, my fault.

Since I have been staying in my home sweet home for almost 2 months now, I feel very boring. Yelah, mana taknya. Hari-hari kau bangun buat kerja yang sama dan ia akan berterusan untuk beberapa bulan lagi, What a life ! So, one day, I decided to look for a job to spend my leisure time. Haha. I look for it with my beloved mom. After having a tour around the city, we stopped by a shop then I saw a " JAWATAN KOSONG" sign in front of it. Me, with my full of enthusiasm, got into the shop and asked for the job vacancy. The owner just took my details and said that he will catch up with me later. Till today, he does not call me for the job. Huh, what a false hope. Setakat nak kemas-kemas kedai tuh, takkan tak nak ambil aku kot ? Hahahaha.

And my journey continued until I found a supermarket also showed the job vacancy sign. Me, once again got into it and asked one of the employers about the vacancy. It was very disappointing when the owner was not available and will be there after lunch. Hahaha. Memang taklah nak datang balik situ. Mak aku busy kot. Maka, impian untuk mendapatkan kerja di supermarket tersebut juga gagal.

On our way home, my mom stopped by a pharmacy to buy some medicine. Of course lah kan. Ada ke orang pergi farmasi nak beli sayur ? Hahahaha. Aku buat lawak nih, gelaklah . Okay. Next to the pharmacy is a clinic. Macam tak strategik jeh kan buat klinik dengan farmasi sebelah menyebelah sebab nanti farmasi tuh yang untung. Kenapa ? Sebab orang sekarang takut nak jumpa doktor.  Hahahaha. Okay, back to the clinic. I saw the "JAWATAN KOSONG DIPERLUKAN SEGERA" glued to the glass door of the clinic. Once again, with a full of enthusiasm, I entered the clinic with hope I will get the job. I asked the front desk about the job vacancy and we talked quiet a lot. Sempat kot mengumpat doktor kat dalam tuh. Then, the doctor called me for the interview. He asked about my details and lastly he asked about my school. Aku jawablah dulu sekolah kat MRSM TGB. Guess what was his respond ?

"Oh, budak MRSM. Kenapa tak sambung belajar ? Takde universiti nak terima awak ke ?"

Pada saat itu, hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa deep nya soalan tuh. * loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes~* Aku hanya mampu tersenyum, diam kaku seribu bahasa. Nak jawab bukan dia tahu pun pasal program tak diiktiraf aku nih. At last he said,

" Sorry, we don't approved a part timer. We need a full time worker".

 Once again, that broke my heart. Ouch. Dan aku keluar dari klinik itu dengan perasaan hiba dan hampa. During my conversation with the front desk's girl in that clinic, she said that the salary given just RM600 per month and you have to work for 8 hours per day. It is not even worthly la, for me. I told my mom bout that and she said,

"Mana ada orang nak kerja full time dengan gaji RM600 sebulan".

Aku hanya mampu mengiyakan.

Maka hingga ke saat ini, aku masih mereput di rumah layan drama korea, scroll facebook, twitter sampai penat.Hahahaha.

What's Up ?


It has been a while. Almost two months I ended the program. There are a lot of things to be shared , like anybody cares tears, laughter, disappointment and lots more. Since this blog macam lecturers tak tengok lagi kan, maka izinkan patik menggunakan bahasa rojak untuk mengekspresikan segala yang terbuku di hati semenjak beberapa bulan mereput di rumah. Hehe.

I admit it, to see your friends, your classmates enjoying their time at the States do hit me very hard. Memang lah, siapa je tak cemburu bila tengok kawan-kawan yang kau pernah dulu kutip mangga tepi KKTM sama-sama, classmates kau even jarang bertegur dapat naik flight, pergi belajar kat negara orang. Kalau kau kat tempat aku, mesti lah rasa kecewa juga kan ? Namun apakan daya. Kita hanya mampu merancang. Even you are just a step towards that, if HE says no, there is no other things in this world that can deny HIS. But it's okay, I already move on from this even though the truth is sometimes very hurt. *loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes ~*. HAHAHA.

So, to my dearest friends yang dah ada kat States dan bakal ke States this January acah korang nak baca je kan, takpelah, aku anggap korang baca. For those who are already in States and those who will be going there next January, do study very, very, very hard. Just one thing, your sponsorship tuh is our money, so use it wisely. Use the money to buy food, stationery, books not an iPhone or iPad or anything that begins with i. Promise me that kay ? Haha. THAT IS OUR MONEY. And one more thing, do bring our hopes, our dreams, the one who does not have the opportunities to study there along with you. Semoga kita dapat jumpa kat sana, mungkin untuk buat Degree ke Masters ke PhD ke tapi bukan under MARA lah. Haha.

Our prays and thoughts are always with you guys. Thank you for the 9months memories.

Tough Life


Everything that happens in our life has its own reason. Good things, bad things, they come with their own reasons, Its us, the one who should seek for the reasons. Failing to fulfill the TOEFL requirement to fly. Huh, surely very sad right ?



On the day the result was announced, I had determined, if United States is the best place for me, then I will pass the TOEFL, if not, Malaysia is just a right place for me to pursue my study. Early in the morning when I got an email from the ETS stating that our results can be checked, I felt very...Its actually a feeling that cannot be described, mixing altogether. I have the instinct that I will not pass the 90 needed, then I decided to text my best friend and asked him to check out my result. Quite coward right? And as expected, the result was, yeah, 4 more to achieve that 90. To be honest, I am surprise but not really surprise with that result, as expected, suit with my little effort. Little ? emmm.

That morning we had English class with madam and she actually asked us, the one who did not pass the TOEFL to retake the exam. Me when madam told us to retake it, I felt like, " I am not sure if I will able to pass this exam again," Then I decided to not retake the examination. I don't even try but I already give in. Right ? But after considering my parents' opinions, some of my classmates' opinions and also doing istikhrah, I got a clue that I actually have to stay here, in Malaysia. 



To my class representative, Adlan, sorry. 

To my dear classmates, do enjoy your study in US.

To my best buddies, Wana, Bihaa, Farah Amy, Zati, Mira, 
It is okay if we are being labeled as quiet students in our class, but at the end, all of us will success just like them. Prove to them that we actually success in silence. Eheh. 
And good luck for your next TOEFL. Do fly, so I can smile :)



p/s : Wana is missing .

Failure


" Failure can teach us lessons that success cannot "


This is also a quote that one of my best friends gave me when I told her about my failure. 
This quote told us that there is something valuable in a failure that success don't that make us a better person in the future. Something that we can learn to improve ourselves. Being forever in a success does not make us appreciate what a real success is. The way we struggle, the obstacles we have gone through, the bad saying from others people have made us strong and have made us appreciate more our success. 

Praised to Him, my friend and I had done our TPO yesterday's evening. Quite sad because I didn't pass the minimum requirement to fly, which I should get 90 and above but unluckily I got 6 less than the requirement. But it's okay. It just a TPO and InsyaaAllah I will improve on my real TOEFL soon. Fighting !!

So, as the holidays are coming soon, surely, I have to struggle during the holidays. But it's okay. To get a real success, we have to sacrifice. SACRIFICE. Hopefully this is not just a big talk. I will improve my TOEFL this holidays. I will .

A Friend in Deed


Don't know what had really happened to me. Seems like I have lost all my spirit. I feel like the one that got nothing, yeah nothing. Totally nothing. I have never felt such a mental breakdown like this but on that day I was totally not me.

Luckily, I have a friend. A great best friend, maybe. The one who always be with me whenever I
need a companion, the one that always be there whenever I need a shoulder to be laid on. He is such a source of spirit. After that day, I always ask him to give me at a least a quote everyday to boost up my day. Yeah, and that was totally effective towards me.

Since that I got my spirit back and never care of what others people may think about me. I may be one of the worst students in the class, but at least I am trying to keep myself up, to improve myself so that, me too can fly to US like them.

These are some quotes that he gave me to boost me up,



"Don't let anyone ever breaks your soul. You have to stand on your own two 
feet and stand up for yourself. There are those that would give anything
 to see you fail, but you must never give them satisfaction. 
Hold your head up high, smile and stand your own ground."


"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. 
But to hold it together when everyone else would understand
 if you fell apart, that's true strength."


" It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. 
It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. 
It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to its max. 
There will be temptation. But I promise you, when you reach your goal, 
it's worth it."

#8 Movie Highlight

Image result for fast and furious 7

People said this movie is awesome, humorous, everyone should watch this movie. Yeah, they are really damn true. This movie is truly fantastic, fast and furious. No doubt this movie already has until 7. Wow! Amazed right? Actually I never watched the Fast and Furious movie before. The 1,2 and so on and I just jumped into the 7th movie. Extreme right? After watching the seventh movie, I felt very exuberant to find on the first till the 6th movie but till now I still can't find all of that. Really lachrymose right ?

From this movie, I had learnt a very important value in life. BROTHERHOOD. There's a dialogue in the movie saying that " I don't have friends, I got family." It shows the real value of friendship which we should not assume our friends as only a friend but also as part of our family. We have to really appreciate and love them as we love our family, 

Image result for fast and furious 7 quotes about family

However, one of the actor in this movie, who is Paul Walker also known as Brian in this movie had already died. At the last part of this movie there's a short video clip showing about their journey together from the first until this seventh movie and it was really touched. To rest in peace, Paul Walker.

Image result for fast and furious 7 quotes about family









p/s : Watching this movie with my fast and furious friends.